Earlier this year Lorna’s cell phone died–teenagers are hard on cell phones–and as she wasn’t due an upgrade, we switched her SIM card into Keba’s old iPhone 3. We made her SWEAR not to incur any data charges, as there was no plan on the phone, and Lorna being Lorna, she did exactly what she was told.

Today, I was nosing around on the AT&T website to check on everyone’s upgrade status. Ever since Lorna got her Dad’s iPhone, Becky has been mounting an unsubtle campaign for her own iPhone (for which, given my own love for my iPhone, I have some sympathy.) Becky’s phone also died pre-upgrade availability and so she has MY old regular cellphone, which is basically held together with duct tape. Keba’s concern was that she might not be as responsible about non-data usage as Lorna, and so he asked me to find if there was a way to limit or block data usage altogether.

The first thing I found out was that Lorna had used no data. The second was, that AT&T had nonetheless added a $30 p.m. Dataplan to the line, and charged us $52 to date for it. WTF, AT&T? The third thing I found was this:

“If AT&T determines that you are using an iPhone on your account without an eligible data plan, AT&T reserves the right to add an eligible data plan to your account and bill you the appropriate monthly fee.” WTF again, AT&T?

Soooo, I got hold of a nice young online chat representative named Shaun. Now, let me express at the outset my entire satisfaction with Shaun and his handling of the chat/my concerns. My problem is not with AT&T’s customer service, it’s with their (lack of) principles.

Once I had explained the situation to Shaun, we came to this exchange:

Shaun Poirier: Okay I have reviewed the account, and thee was a notice sent to the phone on 03/15/2012, when putting a sim card into a Iphone will generate a response in the system to add a data package.

Anna Evans: you sent a notice to my 13 year old daughter’s phone and expected it to reach the bill payer?

Anna Evans: I imagine she just ignored it as mystifying and irrelevant

Shaun Poirier: I am sorry but is sent to the phone that the sim card is inserted.

Anna Evans: okay but can you see my point of view here?

Shaun DID see my point, and after confirming that no data had actually been used on the phone, he generously agreed to credit back the $52. The data plan would have to stay from now on, though, if she kept the iPhone. Given that Becky may also soon have an iPhone, this was starting to look expensive, so I asked about limiting data:

Shaun Poirier: Give me one moment to give you a new balance, and I am sorry there is no way to limit the data, you can go to *3282# from the phone. and there is no family data plan.

Anna Evans: so it’s $30 p.m. minimum if my other daughter (14 and the only one now iPhone less) gets an iPhone with her upgrade?

Shaun Poirier: No the minimum is 20.00 for 300MB.

Shaun Poirier: Okay the credit has been issued.

Anna Evans: if that’s the minimum why don’t AT&T put that on when they do it without consent? why do they pick the higher one?

Shaun didn’t have an answer for that. Anyway, I went to have a look at the family’s existing data plans, to get a feel for whether 300 MB would be sufficient for a data-empowered teen, which led me to THIS revelation:

Shaun Poirier: Okay all is done was there anything else?

Anna Evans: hey, how come I get 2 GB for $25 and my choice for her is $30 for 3GB or $20 for 300 MB?

Anna Evans: oh and my husband is grandfathered in to unlimited for $30 LOL! You can see where this one is going!

Shaun Poirier: The 2GB is no longer available, your feature is grandfatherd

Sooooo, we’re talking about a situation where AT&T charge more and more, on a monthly basis, for less and less data. We’re talking about a situation where AT&T make it impossible for you to use an iPhone (with all its teen-magnet features) without a $20 p.m. charge minimum per phone, DESPITE the fact that Apple make it possible for you to switch off data connectivity on the phone. We’re talking about a situation where AT&T can impose new monthly charges without the billpayer’s knowledge or consent. Which means we’re talking about corporate theft, basically.

Stealing. Candy. Babies. Just saying.

Right now it’s only available on the website of Barefoot Muse Press, but in a few days it should be up on Amazon, and I will provide a link to that page then. (Note: I make more money if you buy it from the Press–just saying!)

Those of you familiar with my oeuvre may well be saying, fourth chapbook? Yes, it’s true. The first, Mobius Strip, was printed in very limited numbers (home-produced) back in the UK circa 1994. I know of the whereabouts of 2 copies, and it is not for sale. (To be honest, I now think most of the poems suck!)

Swimming and Selected Sonnets are of course available from Maverick Duck Press.

Of course, you may rightly observe that this me using my new micro press to shamelessly self-publish my own work. Yep! And I wouldn’t do it with my own original poems, but translations are another matter, in my opinion. Goodness, it’s hard enough to get a formal chapbook out these days! You can forget a book of translations! Yet, Saint-Pol-Roux’s work is simply not available in translation online, or in a decent, widely available print version. (Try it! Google him!) I own The Penguin Book of French Poetry (1820-1950), which contains execrable word for word prose translations of 4 of his poems, and Atlas Press in the UK lists an out of print version of Pauses in the Procession, translated by Andrew Mangravite. That’s it.

But now there’s my chapbook, and I do own a badly photocopied version of Les Reposoirs de la Procession myself. Maybe, one day, I could translate the whole thing…

As I suspected, I was a terrible blogger during the first four months of 2012. I do believe, however, that I turned out to be a half-decent adjunct professor of Rhetoric & Composition!

Somewhat sneakily, I offered my students 1% extra credit on their final grade if they chose, as their topic for the final in-class writing assignment, “What I Learned in Rhetoric & Composition This Spring.” 17 of my remaining 23 students (There were 25 originally, but one disappeared halfway through the semester, and the other more recently and disappointingly) chose to avail themselves of this opportunity, and 16 of said essays were so glowing I wanted to keep them as testimonials. More to the point perhaps, they were all MUCH MUCH better written than the first in-class writing assignment that I gave them on Day 1.

I’ll be teaching again in the fall, Tuesdays and Thursdays 8.30 to 10.20, which may cause some logistical problems with getting children to school, but shouldn’t be anywhere near as hard or time-consuming because I have so much material prepared now.

So, here’s what you missed.

In addition to RSCNJ I taught poetry to the sixth grade at Hainesport Middle School from mid-January until mid-March. This was a great deal of fun and I ended up with a great rapport with both children and the main sixth grade English teacher. Hopefully I can repeat this in the future.

Publications: new poems are online at Lucid Rhythms and American Scientist, and available in print in Verse Wisconsin and Crannog. I also have poems due out in The Tampa Review, 32 Poems, New Walk, and new online poetry journals Angle and Kin. Meanwhile my first book manuscript, States of Correspondence, was a semi-finalist for The New Criterion Prize. When not frantically grading or preparing Power Point presentations in a futile effort to make grammar/essay structure fun for freshmen, I have been chipping away at my next Barefoot Muse Press project–a selfish chapbook of my own translations called Saint-Pol-Roux and Other Poems from the French. I am at the proof approval stage for that, so it should be available shortly. If you are of a mind to read what A.M. Juster called “fresh takes on familiar poems and thoughtful versions of tricky poems likely to be new experiences for most readers,” you can pre-order it here.

Speaking of Barefoot Muse Press, there are 4 days left in our first ever Open Chapbook Reading Period. (Note how I skillfully timed it so I wouldn’t have to actually read the submissions until AFTER I was done teaching!) If you have a chapbook of 25-40 pages of poetry which demonstrates allegiance to meter/form, simply visit our online submissions manager and upload it for free. Yup, no charge! Being personally sick of Pobiz, I decided to do something outside of the reading fee/contest model.

Don’t forget that I am also the editor of The Raintown Review! This very week I received copies of Volume 10 Issue 2, and it’s a corker! Among the usual delights of poetry by luminaries such as Ernest Hilbert, Rachel Hadas, Rhina P. Espaillat and Dick Davis, there are a couple of caustic essays and a civilly barbed exchange, on the difficulty of achieving a 50:50 ratio of women in publishing, between myself and Amit Majmudar. Get your copy now!

[Goodness, this post is starting to exhaust me! How am I still even functioning, I ask myself...]

I am really looking forward to my two week residency at the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts, which runs from July 11th to 26th. I might even write a few poems… (Needless to say, I did not feel it was realistic to attempt NaPoWriMo this year.)

By the way, let us not forget that I have two delightful daughters, who have not disappeared for four months, despite the fact that it might have been somewhat convenient! Indeed, Becky confounded her critics by not only making it to the Level 9 State Gymnastics Championship, and coming seventh on Beam, but also qualifying for Regionals, necessitating a weekend road trip to Chesapeake, Virginia. Furthermore, Lorna’s TAG team qualified for the State Final of Odyssey of the Mind, and her Lacrosse season is in full swing.

And yes, I did get the tax for Global Bridge sorted out on time.

Now, all I need to do is write my 3000 word essay on Mary Robinson for the West Chester Poetry Conference in June, and (maybe?) I can take some time off!

The Best of the Barefoot Muse

Next year’s projects for the press include a chapbook of my own translations and a chapbook contest. I’ve got to get to work on the latter–the admin could be a headache.

I will also be teaching Rhetoric and Composition at Richard Stockton College of NJ next semester. Odd, how things happen. Right after I graduated from Bennington I sent my resume to all of the local colleges and community colleges, hoping to get an adjunct job. I think only one even gave me the courtesy of a reply–a rejection, naturally. After a year or so I sorta gave up, assuming my unconventional resume was never going to get me a look in. Of course I know people at Stockton, so when I heard they were looking for adjuncts I dusted off my resume and sent it in. I went down for interview on the 14th and they offered me the position on the spot. It’s a wonderful campus and the professors I met with all seem like interesting and lively people, so now I just need to construct my syllabus.

Christmas is largely (and somewhat unbelievably, under the circumstances) handled. I’ve even wrapped the majority of the gifts. It’s a quiet one at home this year, which helps. I’m looking forward to seeing the girls’ faces when they open their gifts; it was fun shopping for them this year: no more fiddly plastic toys–it’s all jewelry, cosmetics, clothes and other stuff that makes up the kind of Xmas stocking I would have wanted at 12-14 (actually, that I’d still like now!)

So, here’s a Merry Christmas or a Happy Holidays to all my readers, and I wish you all the best for 2012. Don’t expect too much in the way of blogging first quarter–I’m going to be too busy to close parentheses!

I got up, woke the kids (sequentially), made their lunches, and saw them onto their respective school buses. I’m a Mother, then, that much is both crucial and important.

I went to the gym. To an extent that makes me a Lady of Leisure, I suppose, or at least someone who is in control of her own time.

I paid in some checks at the bank–the checks were either for teaching (One private lesson, one WWAC session, one Care 1 session) or for pre-orders of anthology copies.

I walked Sam. Dog-owner, then. Yes, for sure.

The second proof of the Best of The Barefoot Muse anthology arrived, and I spent some time with it, also setting in motion the next steps towards making copies generally available. I am the Managing Editor of Barefoot Muse Press! Yay me! Seriously, this is perhaps the thing that is currently giving me the most satisfaction–I love playing with the technology and the project plays to all my organizational strengths.

I went to the Care 1 facility to do a Christmas poetry project with my Alzheimers seniors. Teacher, then, yes. But even that is partitioned further–WWAC, Care 1, plus I have a residency coming up at Hainesport Elementary School and an interview next week to adjunct at Richard Stockton College of NJ.

I came home and drove Becky to Gymnastics practice. Ah, Mother again. Goodo!

I checked in on the online quantitative research I am managing for my husband’s company, Global Bridge. Oh, that’s right–I’m the Vice-President and Junior Partner in an International Sales & Marketing consultancy–I forgot that part.

I rated a couple of poems for Reena Heenan’s forthcoming online website of weddings poetry. Yep, Judge.

I haven’t written any poems recently but I’ve had acceptances from Verse Wisconsin and 32 Poems, so I guess I could call myself a Poet.

I didn’t do anything on the Raintown Review today but I’m definitely the Editor of that, in addition to being the Online Architect of the Schuylkill Valley Journal and Essay Co-Ordinator for the Mezzo Cammin Women Poets’ Timeline Project.

So, yeah. And what do YOU do? Oops! It’s time to take Lorna to dance class…

You remember the Barefoot Muse, of course? The formal poetry e-zine I began in 2005 that ran for 11 issues before I finally realized something had to give? It had always been my intention to use the material to create a print anthology one day, but this intention crystallized as I worked through the CD production process. How hard could it be to do a book? The material already existed, and poets tend to jump at the chance to have their work anthologized, even if all they get out of it is a contributor copy.

So, you find me well into the production process. Indeed, I have well over half of the book in place. Createspace provides handy templates to use in Word to make the formatting easier, and there are several excellent free tools for converting said Word file into a pdf when it’s quite ready. I’m a little nervous about doing the cover, although the lovely Erin McGee Ferrell who provided the artwork for issue 3 has agreed to provide one of her images. And I’ve learned lots of things I never knew about Word. (I’m SUCH a geek!)

Seriously though, I now understand all about section breaks, headers and footers (which is essential–one easy way to tell an amateur POD book from a professional one is to examine the complexity of the footers). I know how to use styles to generate a clickable Table of Contents.

And the best thing is, I’m getting to reacquaint myself with all the excellent poems I published over the years.

Some quick pointers for others planning on doing this:

1. Every time you make changes to the artwork files or even the setup details for your project, they have to be resubmitted for the review process, so don’t submit them the first time until you are sure you have them right. I had to go through this process twice because of changing my website to www.annamevans.com halfway through.
2. The artwork production software at Createspace is actually very versatile. Lots of clipart photos and variations on the basic designs. Spend some time drilling down to find suitable unique images and don’t just settle for the first thing you see. You can also upload your own photos, such as a picture of yourself.
3. Once your files have been reviewed and okayed, you need to order a proof and check it carefully. I played my CD on my Mac, on our antique CD player, on my daughter’s PC and in my car.
4. Choose all three distribution channels–that way you will have the CD available from Createspace the minute you hit “Approve proof.” (It takes a little longer to be available on Amazon.)

Gotta take Becky to the gym. It simply remains for me to give you a link for purchase! Buy now!

Also, don’t forget to check out the latest Flea, in which I have two poems.

In case you are interested, I’ll run you through the thought processes.

1. At the marvelous Push To Publish conference this past Saturday, I was introduced to the capabilities of Amazon’s Print on Demand company, Createspace, and determined to, at the very least, attempt to market the recorded CD that I had previously home produced using my Mac and printer in a more professional fashion.
2. While entering artwork details for said CD it became very clear that http://home.comcast.net/~evnsanna/poems.htm a) didn’t fit well on the glossy jewel case insert, b) contradicted the professionalism of the operation
3. While investigating domain name purchase I discovered that the business hosting I use through Godaddy for our Consultancy company, Global Bridge, was a) vastly superior to Comcast’s b) with a minor upgrade, able to support an unlimited number of independent domain names.
4. Hence I can also transfer the domain name barefootmuse.com, which I desire to remain in my possession for the foreseeable future, to the Godaddy servers, and stop paying Yahoo small business $12.95 per month for what is, again, an inferior service. I’m in the process of taking this step (Domain transfer is a little more complicated than new domain registration) and ultimately expect the decision to pay for itself in short order.

So that’s all good then, plus it has inspired me to actually write a blog post, PLUS the transfer of the files has automatically upgraded my WordPress to the latest version. (I do believe I must be the worst techno geek poet I know!)

I’m now trying to think if there is anything else I ought to update my long-suffering readership on before leaving this to go update some blog links. Hmm! Sammy the Face Destroyer is on a diet, and suffering with it! Becky seems to be dealing with High School. Poetry stuff is largely going well. Oh yes, and we are having a reading to celebrate the launch of the new issue (10.1) of The Raintown Review this coming Friday at 7 p.m. The Parlors, St. Joseph’s College in Brooklyn. Maybe I’ll see you there and I can bore you some more about website administration!

Firstly on the list of new things is the lovely iPhone I got for my birthday on July 23rd. Yes, I had resisted iTech successfully for the last few phone upgrades, but I couldn’t swim against the tide any longer. And boy, am I glad I stopped trying. I love my iPhone. I can think of no gadget more suited to a girl like me, who operates by the clock, has lists of lists, and believes information is power.

My favorite Apps (Yes, it has come to this!): Evernote (where I store everything from encrypted password information to poems to take with me on the fly); Shopping List (I loved the free version so much I bought the $2.99 upgrade); SeizeTheDay (A to do list system which knocks the socks off the page of my notebook where I used to list tasks by categories and cross them off); Facebook and Scrabble.

Of course Calendar, Email and Internet Access are also useful. I love being able to respond to urgent emails while I’m out and about, and it was awesome to have the internet available on Tuesday when I recognized a famous actor at 6 Flags, but could only remember that he was in one of the Law & Orders. (A quick Google revealed it was Vincent d’Onofrio, of Criminal Intent.)

The iPhone was also useful a week ago when my much-loved minivan was severely rear-ended at the traffic light at Creek and Centerton, on my way home from work. This was a somewhat scary ordeal because I had maybe about five to ten seconds of knowing that the car that had just raced over the bridge, unaware traffic was backed up almost right up to it with me at the end, was going to hit me. Ten seconds can be an awfully long time. Anyway the poor girl and her family were all very nice, and the aftermath entirely civil. I took photos and tapped in information which was all then readily to hand as I went through the somewhat painful processes which resulted in said minivan being declared legally dead on Tuesday evening.

Sad though this is, one legally dead minivan means one new minivan! Here’s a shout out to CarSense Burlington for providing me with the beautiful 2008 Dodge Grand Caravan with 22000 miles on the clock that I picked up this afternoon. Plus, those of you who know my Dantean past will realize that I was thoroughly gratified to learn the official color of my new transport was Inferno Red!

The summer is typically quiet for poetry news. Exit 13 will be publishing two of my letter poems and a sonnet in the spring 2012 issue; another sonnet, “Fitter,” appeared in the latest Lyric; Mezzo Cammin took two letter poems and a sonnet for an upcoming issue, and US1 took “I Promised to Say Nothing.” You can also read my sonnet, “The Hen & the Peacock” now online at The Flea.

Well, that’s you all updated, gentle reader, although it would be remiss of me not to provide you with a few iPhone rendered photos, so here you are! P.S. The scars are all healing nicely, and I can now ‘bite’ well-cooked pasta and ripe bananas with the capped tooth!

RIP Old Minivan

And He-llo New Minivan!